When I came across Autumn Skye’s stunning paintings of goddesses, I was swept back to my teenage years of doodling feminine figures in my high school classes to fight off my boredom. Just as her powerful women are sometimes partially clothed or fully nude, as were mine. I think my family worried that I might be a lesbian. Why did I keep drawing naked women with full hourglass figures? What was wrong with me?
I didn’t know why I was drawn to the feminine form and why it kept appearing in my sketches as if I were possessed.
Until recently, that is…
Drawing these women lightened some psychological load for me. Just as cave people drew pictures of what they wanted, a successful hunt to feed their tribe, I drew these women to attract feminine energy to my family.
Let me explain.
My mum, like most mothers of my fellow students growing up in the 90s America worked outside of the home. Our belief system was that money is power and so for everyone to be considered a whole person or an adult, the rite of passage was taking a paid job. With mum trying to validate her contributions to the family by bringing money in, you can imagine that feminine energy was scarce in our household when I needed her guidance the most. To attract feminine energy, my subconscious communicated with my hands to draw what I desired in my life.
These days whenever I feel the stress of day to day life getting to me or feel unappreciated or about to lose it with the endless yelling and screaming or the occasional Peppa Pig chattering away on TV, I call to feminine wisdom to guide me out of what I call my dark side of the moon.
Do you ever get the sense that you’re getting sucked into that mummy quicksand where you start to hear the Darth Vader theme in your head as you disconnect from your own humanity, love for those around you, as feelings of inadequacy pile up in the form of housework and people wanting stuff from you?
Yeah, it happens to me.
How do I invite the light of an angel, the divine feminine to get me out of this state where my life force is being sucked away by vampires? Of course, these vampires are none other than my cute as a button three-month-old wanting a feed, two-year-old wanting attention and dirty floors, housework, my own hunger, unresolved arguments, hang-ups or thirst or lack of sleep. Sometimes I think it would be much easier to get a 9-5 job, but hold on, then I’d be stripping my own household of the feminine energy it needs to thrive and not to mention daycare is expensive and if I’m not getting value for my time then why work outside of the home just because I haven’t developed some spiritual and psychological tools to deal with the energy-suck?
So I broke down my energy restoration method into three steps. These things lighten my load and help me steer clear of the dark side.
This could be as simple as taking a minute to get some air. Yes, stop and breathe. Observe your breath in and out. Pretend you’re breathing in and out love, kindness and peace. It sounds silly but this method really works. After a pause with some deep breaths in and out, I usually get a glass of water as our bodies are, give or take, 60% water and keeping hydrated restores my energy. If you’re a coffee drinker be aware that caffeine is diuretic, that is it dehydrates you as does alcohol.
Once I’ve done a few breaths in and out, if no one’s wanting my attention, then I can do a 3 or 5 minute, or if I’ve managed to wake up early a whopping 10 minutes of loving kindness meditation on the Calm App.
This is just stopping and listening. Yes, I get that you want to be heard. I get that you want your partner or children to know how hard it is being you but save your energy. It could be just stopping to listen to the birds or the street. One of my friends shared a grounding technique that goes like this:
- Look for five things you can see and say what they are in your mind
- Four things you can touch and touch them
- Three things you can hear and listen
- Two things you can smell and breathe them in
- Then a deep breath
Once you’ve done this, if your mind is still and you can feel love in your heart, engage with your partner and children and only to hear about how they’re doing.
Listen to them.
Fill your cup with their joy.
Perhaps ask them to tell you only the positive things about their day as you probably don’t want them to suck your energy.
If you feel they are sucking your energy with screaming, yelling and whinging, then grab some garlic, eat it. It lowers blood pressure and you’ll stink so they’ll avoid you. When the garlic’s worn off and they’ve thought of some good things that bring joy to their hearts, listen and feel yourself getting energised by them. You won’t have to look too hard to get joy out of a baby or a young child. Give them a toy, take them to the playground or make eye contact and you’ll see their eyes light up and hearts race.
Play with your children, sing to them and don’t forget to play with your partner too. Perhaps invest in a babysitter and go out on a date with him. If he’s sucking your energy by constantly checking his phone or taking work calls, play a prank on him to bring him back to his senses. Never stop playing. No one’s too old to play, you get old when you stop playing.
Just as children look vibrant when they’re planning and plotting their games, you too will shine.
Over to you…
When was the last time you captured your image in a selfie and examined it? Could you tell how your face was reflecting the kind of day you had, your mood, health or stress levels? Remember you’re not all light or dark, neither an angel or a vampire, but a human being made up of both parts. Without light and shade, you’d have no image.
Let me know how you’re doing by tagging me on an Instagram post of your selfie.