In a world where new creations are approached with criticism, cynicism, and a healthy dose of distrust for good measure, is it any wonder many of us choose to hide behind that old badge of normalcy “I’m not creative”.
Like every creature ever created, I happen to be creative. I stopped rejecting my gift even though it has been rejected in so many forms by so many people, starting from my mother, father, brother to friends, colleagues, editors, and publishers.
The Rejection Wound
Every time people refuse to see or accept what we have to offer, we hurt a little. At least I do. The first time I hear “no” or worse, I send a message which no one acknowledges or I voice a thought that others don’t hear, I shrug it off. That’s because the voice in my head whispers in an inaudible voice “you don’t matter”.
When it happens a second time, I don’t speak up or confront the person who isn’t showing common human decency. This stems from an upbringing where my emotions were neglected. Growing up, my innermost desires were judged “not good enough” and not worth hearing out by those who knew better. So I lost touch with the life I wanted for myself and started walking down a path others pushed me into. The voice in my head gets a little louder “who cares about your views?”
The third time I try to make contact and get nothing – watch out! All hell breaks loose. This is the rejection wound hemorrhaging open and it looks and sounds like a volcano exploding.
Shortly after I gave birth to my first child four years ago, I became conscious that if I’m to develop into a powerful female role model to my daughter, I have to recover the life I want for myself. I needed to take some steps to live out that life where I’m creative, writing, standing up for myself, protecting my boundaries, delivering value, getting recognised, and reaping rewards.
Since then, I’ve been giving myself the time and space to heal. I’ve been sitting down with myself, writing out my emotions, forming stories and up until very recently, those private thoughts remained on the paper. When Clubhouse entered my life so did mentors and allies on my journey towards better self-expression.
Opening Up to the World
I first joined “The Elliott and Jose Show” a few months ago and since then expansion of my worldview has been inevitable. I discovered that I can also harness and surf the wave of my emotions when I’m speaking. When I’m writing, it’s an instantaneous expression of the emotions, the energy that passes through me. As a writer, my brain is well-trained at translating the movement I feel within me, to written words.
The bad news for writers is that not everyone (like my partner and brother) likes to read! And my girls are too young to make sense of written words. Also, Clubhouse is voice only, so I had to learn how to make an impact with the spoken word to turn frustration and burn-out in my household into playful joy.
I enrolled in Jose’s World Class Communicator course and the rest is history. It’s a great bargain with written and video content and exercises to keep revisiting to make an improvement every day on how well and accurately I come across to those people around me, who had a history of irritating me. The better I communicate, the more people respond and nothing heals those rejection wounds like a responsive audience!
Over to you…
What does your healing process look like? Is it through expressing yourself as a speaker, writer, singer, painter, musician, or are you stuck in a place where you’re an active volcano, hot anger, flames, and all?